


Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Hungover

by orphan_account



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drinking, Fake Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Teacher AU, coming together, post-break ups, revenge fake!sex, they're all teachers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Derek Nurse knew taking Dex's advice on dating was a bad idea, especially when the person in question was the LAX coach.  So when he's unceremoniously dumped, and one of his friends offers to help him with revenge, he seriously considers the idea.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Clearing out my drabbles folder before I'm away from the internet for a while. So here's more Ransom/Nursey. I love this ship SO MUCH.

Nursey stared at his boyfriend in vague disbelief. The words had come out, he’d heard them, he’d understood them but… “So you…don’t believe love exists, and because I do, we have to break up?”

Chad shrugged. “I mean…it’s nothing personal, you know? It’s just like…I feel like we’re fundamentally incompatible.”

“Fundamentally incompatible. Did someone get you word of the day toilet paper or something?” Nursey snarked. He shouldn’t even be pissed about this, and really he was fairly sure he was only this upset because he didn’t do the breaking up. He had lowered his standards exponentially when he’d agreed to go out with this idiotic White Boy Lax Bro in the first place, but Dex had convinced him it was worth a shot.

“You can’t judge everyone by their profession, Nurse.”

Nursey had given him his best side-eye. “He’s a LAX bro, and a fucking maths professor. Like…does it get worse than that?”

“You’ll regret it if you miss out on good sex and a decent guy just because someone is a coach of the Lacrosse team.”

Well now look where that got him. Some fuckwit who was dumping him because he had gotten drunk and said I love you. Like he really fucking even meant it. Now this asshole got to walk away high and mighty and the victor…

God he was so pissed.

“Okay well…it was nice knowing you. See ya.” Then he was up, and out the door.

He did not anticipate seeing Chad again. Sure, the professor Chad was working for shared an office wall with Ransom, which meant every time Nursey went to visit he might see him but…

He hadn’t expected Chad to show up with a bunch of other dudes on Thursday night. At Jerry’s. Chad knew Thursday nights were SMH nights. Chad had been fucking invited to SMH nights—twice until Holster threatened to enact a lifetime ban on Nursey if he brought another LAX bro to their bar night—so it wasn’t like he was unaware.

Nursey gripped his pint glass hard enough to make his knuckles ache, and he stared down at the table as the group went quiet. “Hey,” Chowder said quietly, leaning in toward Nursey. “We can go somewhere else.”

“No,” Nursey said, turning up his nose. “This is our fucking night at our fucking bar. We are not leaving. Fuck him. Fuck the LAX team!”

That was met with a loud—extra loud in Holster’s case, since he was hockey coach—chorus of, “Fuck the LAX team!”

Chad didn’t look over, but the side of his jaw did twitch a little.

*** 

By ten, half of the boys were gone. All that was left was Jack and Bitty at the bar, making out sloppy and gross and earning fines for Bitty stealing everyone’s drinks, and then Ransom and Nursey who had abandoned the table and were ordering chocolate cake shots from the bartender who looked a little dubious about selling them any more alcohol.

But they had a credit card with a huge limit, and they were generous tippers.

Nursey lifted his third shot into the air, and clinked it against Ransoms. “To being single, and listening to your fucking gut and not your idiotic white friends who think they know better.”

Ransom downed his, then let out a long, “Ahhh,” and leant back on the bar stool. “Dude like…I’m still half convinced he was fucking with you. He’s heard me bitch about what a fucking waste of space Chad is. I think he just wanted to see if he could get you to do it.”

“God,” Nursey groaned, laying his head on the bar. “Fuck him entirely. I can’t believe I call that guy my best friend.”

“Best friend?” Ransom demanded. “What the fuck am I, then?”

Tongue loose—almost too loose, but not quite, Nursey said, “My hottest friend.”

Ransom’s eyes went wide, then he grinned and gave Nursey’s cheek a pat. “I love you.”

“I love you, prettiest friend. See, fucking…fucking love is real. What the fuck does he know?” Nursey demanded, glaring daggers over at Chad who was in a booth, leaning in toward a young blonde girl. “Like…what the…fuck. How did he make me catch…catch feelings.”

Ransom stared. “Woah…bro, feelings? You had…feelings?”

“He’s a douche,” Nursey said, nodding to himself, face still on the bar. “But like not all the time? This…this one time we got in his car and like…drove up into the middle of nowhere and he named a constellation after me. Then he gave me the best blowjob of my life. Like he could be so good and so shitty and just…howwww.”

Ransom gave him a look of pity and empathy. “I’m sorry, man. You deserve better.”

“Yeah. Fuck him,” Nursey said, and tried to ignore the fact that it did hurt a little. That he really only dated Chad because the person he was crushing on—the one sat right next to him—wasn’t interested in that. At all.

Ransom blinked at him, then leant forward. “Dude. You should fuck me.”

Nursey froze, his tongue stuck in his mouth for several moments. “I. Uh. What.”

“We share an office wall. You should totally fuck me in my office like…when he’s there. Make it sound like the best fucking sex you’ve ever had.”

“Bro,” Nursey said, peeling himself up off the bar top. “That’s like…breaking some kind of bro code, right?”

Ransom shrugged. “Whatever. I like dudes, you like dudes. I like you, you like me.”

“Um.”

“I’m you’re prettiest friend, I’m so fucking much prettier than Chad,” he spat. “We’re friends. Friends have each other’s backs. Make him feel inadequate.”

“We are drunk,” Nursey said decidedly. “We can’t talk about getting dicked by our bros when we are this drunk.”

Ransom opened his mouth, but just then Chad and his friend walked up to the bar to settle a tab. Chad was lost in her gaze, it seemed. She laughed at something he said, and he kissed her. “I fucking love you,” he muttered. “Like seriously.”

Nursey felt that like a white-hot knife. He stood up, and bolted.

*** 

The next morning he woke to a hangover and a text message.

**I’m in my office all day if you need anything. Fuck that dude, you deserve better.**

Nursey stared at it for a long time, before coming to a decision. He wasn’t drunk anymore, but he was still hurting.

It took all of ten minutes to reach Ransom’s office, and after just a second of internal debate, he knocked.

*** 

“Hey bro,” Ransom said, leaning back in his chair. “Have you had like…coffee or ibuprofen or anything? You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Nursey said dryly, rubbing the back of his neck. He took the seat near the window, reaching over to close the shades, and he sighed.

“Fucked up night, eh?”

Nursey rolled his eyes, but nodded. “Yeah, guess you could say that. I…god why did I ever give a shit about that asshole?”

Ransom shrugged. “Dunno, man. We all do stupid shit, we all fall for the wrong person. You’re a fucking nice guy, it was bound to happen.”

“Over and over,” Nursey mumbled. “Good ones are always…”

“Taken?” Ransom offered.

“Uninterested.” He leant his head back, then heard the soft sounds of Nickleback filtering through the vents and he pulled a face. “All the time?”

“All the fucking time,” Ransom said with a sigh. “Fucking white boys, eh?”

“I guess we all have that one.” Nursey swallowed, then gathered his courage, stared Ransom in the eye and said, “You wanna fuck me up against your wall.”

*** 

There were a lot of ways Nursey imagined that going. The first being the moment when Ransom dropped everything and said, “Bro, I’ve been waiting to hear those words since the day we met.”

Then there was the, “Dude, I was fucking joking, oh my god.”

There was the, “Fuck yes, let’s get that fucker.”

And lastly the, “Promise me this won’t ruin anything.”

He did not imagine hesitance in Ransom’s face. Or being lifted from his chair with a delicate grasp, and eased up against the wall. He did not picture two hands splayed out on either side of his head, and the brush of a nose up against his own as Ransom whispered, “You sure?”

But that’s exactly what happened, and Nursey swallowed thickly before nodding. “Yeah.”

“Because Fuck the LAX bros?”

Nursey gulped again. “Uh.”

“Or is it something else?”

“If I say something else, are you going to throw me out on my ass?” Nursey asked, his voice small.

“Not if you make it worth my while,” Ransom said with a wink, and before Nursey could panic, before he could duck out and fucking run, Ransom put one hand on his cheek and said, “Let me take you to dinner. We’re doing this kinda backward but I really wanna make that piece of shit who made you feel bad squirm.”

“Is…are you…” Nursey tried to move, and somehow managed to slip and almost fall into Ransom’s desk before he was caught by strong arms. “Uh…”

“Jesus, babe,” Ransom said, and eased him back up against the wall. “We don’t have to do this at all.”

“I want to,” Nursey said, trying not to feel like he was floating, or falling. “I…like you. Before I liked Chad, I liked you.”

“Thank fuck,” was all Ransom said, and then he was kissing Nursey. Hard. Nursey’s head banged into the wall, and Ransom shoved a knee between his thighs, hitching their hips up close and snug. Nursey tried to bite back his moan, then remembered they were doing this on purpose, so he didn’t. He let his head fall back and the groans cascade from his lips.

Ransom’s eyes went wide, dilated, his breath coming in tiny gasps as they ground their erections together which were almost painfully hard.

“Oh fucking fuck me, Derek,” Ransom groaned. Loudly.

It was…a lot. It was everything he’d wanted and yet nothing like he wanted this moment to be. “Fuck. Justin I…”

“Yeah,” Justin said, pulling back slightly. He brought one hand up, tangling his fingers in Nursey’s curls and breathed hard, pressing their foreheads together. “I know I…maybe this isn’t…”

“Does he need to know that though?” Nursey asked after a second.

Ransom laughed, sounding surprised and really fucking delighted. He pulled back, shaking his head. “I knew I fucking liked you for a reason.” He slammed his hand against the wall twice. “Fuck,” he cried. “Derek jesus fuck yes. Please. Oh my god oh my god right there.”

It was the least erotic thing Nursey had ever experienced, and the best fucking sex he’d ever not-had. He let his head thump against the wall rhythmically, groaning. He could fake it with the best of them, and after a few minutes, they stopped.

“Okay let me just…” Ransom pulled back, then dug his fingers into Nursey’s hair, fucking it until it was thick and mussed. “Yeah. God yeah looks like I just fucked the hell out of you.”

Nursey felt his cheeks heat up, and he glanced away. Ransom took the moment to grab his hand, pressing a kiss to the centre of his palm, then the inside of his wrist.

“Dinner tonight. Please, please say yes.”

Nursey licked his lips, but nodded. “Yeah. Okay. But can we just do it at mine?”

“I’ll get Greek. I swear to god I would sell my first born for a fucking lamb pita.”

Nursey snorted. “That’s…very Greek, so appropriate. Uh. What time are you done?”

“I have office hours until four. Then I should shower all this awesome sex off my dick,” Ransom said with a wink.

“Oh my god. Tell no one,” Nursey demanded. “I’m not even remotely kidding.”

Ransom grinned wickedly, but nodded. “Yeah. And if Chad tries to give me shit I’ll remind him that you had no problem spilling a few of his…secrets.”

Nursey snorted a laugh, then let out a startled yelp as he was yanked back into Ransom’s arms, and kissed softly, sweetly, two pecks at the corners of his mouth, then a little harder at his pulse-point.

“Okay so…see you soon?” Nursey asked.

Ransom smiled at him. “God himself couldn’t keep me away. I’ll text you.”

Nursey couldn’t stop grinning, even as he backed away, opening the door and almost falling over himself as he shut it again. He supposed it might have been coincidence that Chad came out of the office right then, but he didn’t think so. He also tried to erase the shit-eating grin from his face, but he couldn’t. He was too fucking happy.

“Uh. Hey. I was…gonna text you,” Chad began.

“No worries, I’ve been busy,” Nursey said.

“I just…the bar. I just wanted you to know that…”

“Don’t,” Nursey said, holding up a hand.

“I just…I know you heard and it was dick move and I didn’t…I didn’t meant to hurt you.”

Nursey grinned. “Bro. Seriously, you didn’t.” When Chad opened his mouth to protest, Nursey shook his head. “All you did was give me courage.”

Chad blinked, then his eyes cut over to Ransom’s office. “For…that?”

Nursey laughed and backed up toward the door to the main corridor. “To go after what I really wanted all along. So I guess I owe you. Laterz.” He gave him a mock salute, then left, a skip in his step, and promise for his future.


End file.
